


it's 3am somewhere

by freshmint



Series: kinetic energy [6]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Ballet, Chatting & Messaging, Fem!Akaashi - Freeform, Fem!Bokuto, Group Chat Fic, Group chat, Memes, Multi, Rule 63, Will tag more characters as they appear, fem!Yaku, fem!asahi, fem!lev, fem!nishinoya, fem!oikawa, fem!terushima, i'm sorry in advance, kinetic energy ballet au, the title will probably change too lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-31 15:29:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12135450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freshmint/pseuds/freshmint
Summary: i'm so sorry





	1. can confirm 2: electric boogaloo

**Author's Note:**

> princess tutu - oikawa
> 
> catdaddy - kuroo
> 
> lev's keeper - yaku
> 
> gangly bitch - lev

_7:34 PM_

 

 **brokuto:** HEY IS ANYONE STILL AT PRACTICE

 

 **princess tutu:** no, why?

 

 **catdaddy:** she left her entire dance bag there

 

 **princess tutu:** that sounds like a you problem, kou-chan~

 

 **brokuto:** HECK OFF TOORU GO BACK TO IWAIZUMI

 

 **princess tooru:** he’s not home >:(

 

 **brokuto:** IF HE’S NOT HOME DOES THAT MEAN HE’S AT MBT

 

 **catdaddy:** none of us even go anywhere else tho so….

 

 **brokuto:** IWAZUMI!! PLEASE FIND MY DANCE BAG THANK U

 

 **catdaddy:** he’s not even in this kou

 

_brokuto added iwa-chan to ballet hoe$_

 

 **iwa-chan:** …

 

 **iwa-chan:** What is this?

 

 **brokuto:** A GROUP CHAT!! READ UP MY FINE FELLOW

 

 **iwa-chan:** You couldn’t just message me privately, Bokuto?

 

 **catdaddy:** awwwww tooru ur mans has such good grammar

 

 **princess tutu:** ohyhup ;)))

 

 **lev’s keeper:** i can’t even begin to imagine what that emoji would mean in this context

 

 **gangly bitch:** HEY YAKU

 

 **catdaddy:** wowza, gang’s all here

 

 **princess tutu:** of all the things you could say? wowza is the thing you picked???

 

 **akaashi keiji:** I agree, Oikawa.

 

 **catdaddy:** :’( cut me deep

 

 **akaashi keiji:** You’ll get over it.

 

 **brokuto:** KAAAAASHI UR HERE!!

 

 **catdaddy:** jesus christ kou take it down about 9000 notches

 

 **gangly bitch:** nyikes

 

 **akaashi keiji:** Hey, Bokuto.

 

 **brokuto:** HELLO!!!

 

 **princess tutu:** real talk though, why is kei-chan’s name so boring?

 

 **catdaddy:** brilliant observation we must address this immediately

 

 **catdaddy:** if u wanna be a part of ballet hoe$ u gotta be ~cool~ B-)

 

 **lev’s keeper:** stfu nerd

 

 **catdaddy:** :’(

 

 **catdaddy:** are you gonna push me into a locker next, yaku?

 

 **catdaddy:** oh wait i’m twice your height

 

 **brokuto:** oOOOOoooOOOOOooo

 

 **catdaddy:** ty for the backup bb love u <3

 

 **brokuto:** <3

 

_8:06 PM_

 

 **iwa-chan:** Okay but hang on, Tooru made a legitimate point for once in her life.

 

 **princess tutu:** okay first of all, rude

 

 **brokuto:** hahahahah pointe

 

 **catdaddy:** ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

 **iwa-chan:** Anyways,

 

 **iwa-chan:** If I have to have a stupid name, you do too Keiji.

 

 **akaashi keiji:** You’re just salty because Tooru made your account for you and you can’t figure out how to change it back.

 

 **catdaddy:** all this grammar is gonna give me an aneurysm

 

 **brokuto:** not unless iwaizumi has one first

 

 **catdaddy:** oOOOOOOooooOOOoo

 

_8:47 PM_

 

 **princess tutu:** #changekeichansusername2017

 

 **catdaddy:** that’s a mouthful

 

 **princess tutu:** shut up furball

 

 **brokuto:** ohhhhh shit

 

 **catdaddy:** wow kou i thought you had my back

 

 **brokuto:** hey that was a good roast

 

 **brokuto:** you’ll always be my #1 bro though <3

 

 **catdaddy:** </3

 

 **catdaddy:** how will i go on like this

 

 **akaashi keiji:** Bokuto, didn’t you need your dance bag from Iwaizumi? How’d we get so far off from the topic at hand?

 

 **lev’s keeper:** uhh that would be bokuto herself

 

 **catdaddy:** i’d like to think i helped

 

 **gangly bitch:** dynamic duo

 

 **brokuto:** stop changing the subject kaashi!!!

 

 **brokuto:** i do actually need my bag though fuqqq

 

 **brokuto:** iwa-chan are u still there

 

 **iwa-chan:** No.

 

 **brokuto:** :’(

 

 **brokuto:** do u think suga or sawamura is still there??

 

 **lev’s keeper:** how the hell do u have their numbers???????

 

 **brokuto:** we’re bffs!! they just decided to take over the theater after a while from Ukai instead of continuing to dance

 

 **catdaddy:** can confirm

 

 **akaashi keiji:** Still, they’re not gonna be happy if you do. I’d text Daichi instead of Suga to be honest.

 

 **catdaddy:** can confirm part 2

 

 **brokuto:** electric boogaloo

 

 **brokuto:** anyways, i’ll do that!!

 

 **brokuto:** see you all tomorrow for another day of suffering!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next week on the misadventures of ballet hoes: nobody's cooler than terushima yuuji


	2. please keep your hands to yourself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> rolling thunder - nishinoya
> 
> (not the beer) - asahi

_ 7:36 AM _

 

_ catdaddy has added terribleshima yuuji, ushiwaka, rolling thunder, (not the beer) to ballet hoe$ _

 

**princess tutu:** oh god why’d you have to add ushiwaka

 

**ushiwaka:** Oikawa-san, I’m hurt.

 

**princess tutu:** put a bandaid on it then

 

**rolling thunder:** aww are we unwanted here??????????

 

**(not the beer):** If, we are, we can leave you know

 

**(not the beer):** We’re not principals so don’t worry about us!!

 

**catdaddy:** holy shit asahi

 

 **catdaddy:**  so kind

 

 **catdaddy:** protect her

 

**rolling thunder:** ikr

 

 **rolling thunder:**  also i called dibs like 6 years ago

 

 **(not the beer):**??

 

**brokuto:** ofc you guys are welcome here!!! everyone is welcome here!! oikawa’s just salty because a few years ago ushijima was the male lead in giselle but oikawa wanted iwaizumi to get it so….

 

**catdaddy:** our gal tooru holds grudges like hell

 

**iwa-chan:** This is true. 

 

**iwa-chan:** One time, I left rehearsal early without telling her, oof.

 

**princess tutu:** that was one time T_T

 

**princess tutu:** i have a lot of feelings okay

 

**catdaddy:** we know

 

**princess tutu:** if i could stick my tongue out at you rn i would

 

**brokuto:** use one of ur 90000 emojis!!

 

 **princess tutu:**  excellent idea kou-chan

 

 **princess tutu:** (＞д＜;)o

 

**rolling thunder:** omg i love them

 

**rolling thunder:** few things are more expressive

 

**rolling thunder:** ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

 

**rolling thunder:** look how joyful he is

 

**catdaddy:** can you guys believe it?

 

**catdaddy:** the emoji form of nishinoya does indeed exist

 

**princess tutu:** (˃̥̥ω˂̥̥̥) it’s truly amazing

 

**ushiwaka:** Can someone please tell me what is going on right now?

 

**iwa-chan:** I’m with you, Ushijima.

 

**princess tutu:** iwa-chan, you traitor!

 

**iwa-chan:** Oh my god.

 

**iwa-chan:** I’ve gotta go, I can hear Tooru yelling for me from the next studio over.

 

**brokuto:** #saveiwachan2017

 

_ 1:05 PM _

 

**terribleshima yuuji:** i didn’t even know that i was added to this?!

 

**terribleshima yuuji:** firstly i’d like to thank my mother and father,

 

**akaashi keiji:** Please don’t.

 

**brokuto:** ooooo, shut down

 

**catdaddy:** bo u have absolutely no room to talk

 

**brokuto:** wydm????? kaashi loves me!!!

 

**terribleshima yuuji:** wowza, ur use of punctuation is truly something else

 

**lev’s keeper:** welcome to another day in this trainwreck of a chat

 

**gangly bitch:** we should add more people!!! like the new members!!!!!

 

**catdaddy:** you say “new members” as though you are not also a new member

 

**gangly bitch:** ( ≧Д≦) ur so cruel kuroo

 

**lev’s keeper:** plea se no more emojis

 

**gangly bitch:** me currently: ⋌༼ •̀ ⌂ •́ ༽⋋

 

**lev’s keeper:** lev i can see you on the other side of the room i will come over there

 

**gangly bitch:** NO WAIT

 

**gangly bitch:** fghjklal;’sdf’fa k;erg’

 

**terribleshima yuuji:** holy shit you guys lev fucking died

 

**terribleshima yuuji:** yaku has her in a chokehold

 

**terribleshima yuuji:** poor Takeda-san

 

**(not the beer):** I don’t think this is what he expected when he said 15-minute break

 

**rolling thunder:** at this rate lev is gonna break

 

**terribleshima yuuji:** just another peaceful day at miyagi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next week on the misadventures of ballet hoes: gang gang


End file.
